Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Things Frat Guys like

Side note: The group I identify as the most, would be within my fraternity, since I am an active member. Enjoy!

 If it’s one thing these frat guys like is sex! They’re always banging girls left and right then dumping them to the curb. So ladies, be careful and think twice before you let your pants fly off. These guys are known to be filthy and ruthless. Frat guys spend A LOT of time with sorority girls, which aren’t the classiest girls on campus. So you might find yourself receiving a nice little gift of chlamydia after messing with one of scumbags or gonorrhea if you’re lucky.
            Another thing these crazy animals like is alcohol and partying. Oh man, these men sure do know how to party. They drink six days out of the week and will probably have liver and kidney failure in about five years. It is more than likely that these men shotgun a total of six beers before they get their days started. Along with chasing their shots with muscle milk when they simmer down when it comes time for studying. With all this they still have the time to get girls plastered to the point where they can barely walk. This results in the girl waking up next to him the next morning making her wonder what the hell happened the night before. These frat guys should just do themselves a favor and already enroll themselves in an AA class, since they’ll eventually have too.
            As you walk around your college campus you’ll see hundreds of guys wearing their letters as they stick their heads up and chests out. These frat guys sure love acting like arrogant self-centered douchebags. Although some of these guys may not be so attractive, they have very strict requirements on girls that are allowed into their house for parties. Absolutely no fat, ugly, smelly or poorly dressed girls allowed. Also keep in mind that they do not approve of prunes, but they love those promiscuous ladies that claim to be classy, next joke. Make sure to never date a frat guy because their only goal in life is to slay as many girls as possible. On top of that, they love to cheat not only on their exams but on their girlfriends as well. They’ll cheat over and over again yet somehow manage to find a way to manipulate the poor girl to stay with them.
            In order to be one of these frat guys, you must go to the gym twice a day, seven days a week. Frat guys must uphold themselves to having no body fat and must be made of pure muscles. If you go to the gym these guys should not be hard to spot, since all of them work out in the same area. A requirement they must oblige by at all times is to make sure they never workout in a normal tee shirt. These guys somehow manage to rip tee shirts apart and transform them into tank tops in order to work out. If any of these guys are capable enough of holding a job, their paycheck is spent strictly on alcohol, chaser and protein. Do not get me wrong; these guys are considerate in a way. They seem to not be as intelligent, meaning they will drop a class or two during the semester, which gives non-Greeks the opportunity to register for the classes they need. Especially when you consider the fact that Greeks are on the six-year plan for graduation, if they are lucky.